Some childhood memories Started getting refreshing in my head As we go down the memory lane We spinned a wheel of fortune and fate Where joy’s and sorrow got no boundation Clearly loved ones got more attention Where now it’s a luxury to go back and relive the life of childhood fantasy and gigs Happy are those early days, where pretending and candourness has got the variance Where finding joy and happiness was easier Where small patches of life would never tear us Where seeing everything in larger canvas was never a option Where imagination never meets a full stop Where tripping over dreams was never ending cycle Where planing for tomorrow was never a necessity Where transcending people’s inner bliss got no attention Yesterday still lingers Reminding me that you and I are so much more than that a moment And how come we all grew
That’s what they said As we plant this affection deeper in to roots ,you may observe the full grown came up with lot of expectations and moods In the world of hypocrites and boons Always fighting against the troops Gaining a perspective and nothing to lose This small child finally grew
I have never been unhappier is a self help , autobiography of unwittingly known as shaheen Bhatt who is a screenwriter as well .she has been powerhouse of quit restraint – until recently she now invites you in to her head with sweeping act of courage.
Speaking of depression or anxiety it does count a seeking attention in today’s multidimensional world of multifaceted people out there who are trying to acknowledges the peculiarities of living with depression ,most importantly the people living with depression in their privileged circumstances, which we often disregard it swiftly when you are dealing with feelings you don’t quite understand it even make it worse to interpret out in society. Mental disorders often alienate the person from their family and friends. Reading is something which give a semblance of sanity to someone who are hold up in thought full of emotional arising memoir. So this book is not a substitute to therapy or like psychiatric intervention but more like a cheat day or minor software up gradation for your brain to profound the condition. Atopic of massive interest to everyone with mental health disorders this book extend out its hand to gently provide solace and debilitating the critically misinterpreted mental illness in 21st century. “you must not allow your pain to be wasted” – A sneak peek: As far as we know depression is a sort of stigma in indian society ,I think its extremely important to mention this issue widely and stop misusing as in general .It is something which is misunderstood by large section of people and its important to clear those misconceptions and understands it fully what it actually is : Depression is a common mood disorder and a serious medical illness .There are many types of depression and they vary accordingly and not matter what type it is it will show negative effect on how you feel and act . According to the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorder published by the American psychiatric association Depression is widely distinguished in two categories: major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder or dysthymia. Both types of disorder causes equal amount of sadness, low moods and hopelessness but the only difference they share is the severity and duration of the depressive episodes. If the particular person is suffering from major depressive disorder he /she will have a sad or depressed mood that will lasts for about two weeks to a number of months. And when the event passes the patient goes back to feel normal again. On the other hand persistent one is chronic conditions which lasts for at least two years or longer. But the symptoms of persistent one are less severe than major one. There is also even a possibility of person suffering from double depression as the constant low feeling coupled with periodic repetitive events of major depression. As this disease is complex ,it is conjectured to find it main causes .In some cases the doctors say it can occur due to biological factors such as genetic predisposition, hormonal changes ( including menopause, childbirth, or thyroid problems) or difference in biochemistry ( an imbalance of naturally occurring substance called as neurotransmitter in the brain and spinal cord). In other cases it occur due to psychological factors like severe stress conditions, substance abuse, or any saddened event which brought the hopelessness inside you. Its intensity , experience and symptoms varies from person to person but what seems to catch the attention is the constant act of denial to yourself and then to others about your condition. The absence of physical symptoms makes it more surreal for the people to understand its seriousness. As we live in the world where we are taught to hide our vulnerability in front of others ,and most importantly to our own selves it has secured a background where anyone privileged or generally a person cant despair for feeling sad or unhappy. The book starts with shaheen diagnosed with depression at eighteen ,after five years of already living with it. In this emotionally exhausting journey of her dealing with depression add up a whole new perspective of how it feels like and what people generally go through when they have it A quote from the book: “Take of the mask. You aren’happy? Fine one day you will be and then you will be sad again. Accept that and stop wasting your energy on something which don’t exist. You can spend your life feeling bad about feeling bad. This book revolve around the experience lived by shaheen all by herself where she deals with the depression and tackle the norms impose by our society on the topic like mental illness This book contains ten chapters which has primarily focused on major clinical depression , anxiety issues, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, therapy and the misconceptions that she was facing at the age of fourteen. As pointed out by shaheen a lot of teen or adult consume themselves in some sort of substance abuse where in general they find the abuse as their own gateway from all their vain. The combination of substance abuse and depression is an endless cycle it will definitely worsened you medical conditions and wont lead you far away. The things I love about this book:
1)What I love the most about this particular memoir is how she talks without romanticizing depression or suicide generally we notice in a lot of fiction /non fiction books. The first few pages or in between events of the book will feel like over sharing or dramatic but slowly and steadily you will understand the feeling instantly why are they written so. 2) The author does understand what she is going through and does the intense research on the topic and doesn’t glorify about the things she seems to understand through her journey especially after years of struggling with something she clearly didn’t have idea about it. 3) she has even mentioned about the few elements like preaching of positivity culture which took a large leap in mainstream platform where there is single minded focus on practicing to be positive and blindly putting a full stop to anything which is negative. We have learned the art to suppress our negative feelings and furiously shut down the places for vulnerability and as a result there is loss of real human connection and it leads to most damaging emotion : Shame 4) just the way eating cornetto the end is best the same turned out to be with this book where she address the sense of serious ness regarding her illness and recovery where she described the factors which uplifted her or exacerbated her equation with depression from time to time . It takes courage to share ones feeling with others ,Her poetic words on insomnia , loneliness , therapy are really captivating and I truly felt it to a certain extent. She began to share the role played by her family at what certain level it started affecting her as she has quoted in her novel before about her legitimacy of pain: “ My pain is real ,it does not come to me because of my lifestyle, and it is not taken away by my lifestyle. This memoir has the authenticity and genuineness which probably beholds the attention and certainly asked you to accept something which is wrong , seek help from your family and experts ,medication and most importantly self talk I presumes you will think of this memoir as a Bollywood references because of her family involved in film business but trust me this book is as raw as it like to be and written with lot of ease and had to be shared with everyone for the sake of making everyone ,young adults ,partners to recognize that eternal bliss does not exist and brevity is something we are all afraid of because of that we tend to neglect the reality. But thank god for brevity neither the happiness stay and eventually the pain passes away. For too long we have been convinced to believe that there is fundamentally wrong with us to think a certain way but it’s a high time to realize that nothing is wrong with us. A quote from the book: “ Your pain like your fingerprints ,is unique to you”
Midnight striking the clock twelve Moonlight radiates its shadow up through the window I just stared deep dark in to the light to feel that how will be light without darkness How will be the life without turmoil How will be the men without women How will be the soul without body And how we can all heal without bruised As these questions started acknowledging me I let go my havoc to feel Perhaps ,all i wish i wasn’t asleep Without making a point up to a brief With all the sins i have been tendering to started, Sabotaging the beliefs inside me Seeking a joy to put my thoughts up to you All i wish i just try to face the conspiracy with utmost truth
I sink in to the night Like wise my thoughts synced in to yours Wandered lonely as a cloud When all at once i saw a crowd filled with stars and horizons of path Besides the lake ,beneath the trees Waiting and gaiting to fill that hollow left spot Fluttering and flipping along with their wings Birds danced their heart out I gazed and gazed and left with a heavy thought What fortune that showed to me had brought For oft,i sat down on my couch Thinking of a lie which can be taught A true bliss or solitude of sort Kept in a vacant or in pensive mood As i thought
I could have dvelved in more Finding solace in every corner of my door Bewildered to be looking in the wonder of my choices I could have wanted it more
I could have dvelved in more Making horizons coming close Gazing the sky through my goals I blur it out facing the lows Still foresight enough to take the blows
I could have dvelved in more Curling in to an arched form ,breaking upto the shore Bringing the sound waves near to my floor Holding the waves with my toes A sweet gesture made by moving ones hands to and fro A sudden occurence of emotions flushing through my noose
I could have dvelved in more Waking up to my dream ,but they fight to stay alive Gating to persuade my reality Which i can hardly mends it though Replacing the tear with the fear Exchanging the faith with the smile We all did resonate with this havoc Doing everything one day at a time We could have dvelved in more
Pyjamas and pink phrase of life Warm, comfy ,cold and free Love songs and choco pie Believe happy mesmerizing lyrical Smoothing and relaxing Soothing , changing and becoming Books sunsets and wine Got mixed up with blue skies Guiding within the light And these are the flavours of my paradise.
Glooming peace this morning
The sun for sorrow will not show his head
Go ahead to give more saddened things for change
Some shall pe pardoned ,some shall be punished
Passing in to nothingness still we keeps
Character strouting to play evils for gods sake
And learners learning to do it all back again
Memories and desire stirring hard in your brain
Just like a whine paying off the strains
I am entitled in every sense of word – imperfections But still find it hard to understand its conceptions Imperfections give us characters And tagged us in this world of exception And they are not as bad as you think they are Then why do we always told to be silent about the flaws If we cant even expose it to the utmost mark Then how we will ask people to give us the applause
In this world of dismantle heart ,easy to find fault in perfect art
In due course of time ,give them chance to fully overcome and never break our spirit apart
We all want to rise and shine Struggling through the highs and lows of skies Juggling with the fondness of two time heart Wherein the sunshine reaching out so hard The country’s smile spread wide ahead The rhythm of road does hypnotize
Your destination does crawls slowly to the shore Anchored by the heart to Fully cherish forever The past in the mirror starts to disappear Just memories of endeavours
Fragility of being human Revelling in the freedom of love In vain those words often stuck within us Echoes fades but the memories remain inside us Never seen by waking eyes Dreaming as the days passes by Sunshine warming my soul
ministrike 